Manage your own teenage boot camp in 'Academia: School Simulator'

Written by: Carlos Zotomayor

Games | Sep 12, 2017

Academia School Simulator Squeaky Wheel

Ever been in prison? No? Well, then you would be lying. Even if you've never committed a crime and been sent to jail, there is still that one penitentiary almost all of us have had the luxury of attending: school.

School: a glorified day care center which parents drop their kids at to learn useless things like Pluto's planetary status instead of actual skills like living on the streets.

You think your fellow inmates (also known as "classmates") will help you in the real world? Unless they managed to break out of your school, they aren't even worthy of being added to your Facebook friends list.

You'll never be able to get back that time you wasted as a kid, but you can do the next best thing: take it out on some virtual students of your own! 

Academia: School Simulator
is a title made by local four-man game studio Squeaky Wheel which allows you to do just that. Players start with a dingy empty lot and attempt to create the teenage prison of their dreams. From the building layout to taco Tuesdays, every little detail contributes to the success of the school.

But this isn't just any educational facility you'll be manning; this is a high school - the most dangerous type of school! This is where puberty turns sweet little girls into complaining teenagers and boys into chest-pounding gorillas. Each student is motivated by different needs and it is up to the player to either cater to them by adding new school facilities (more on that later) or to tell them to man up and deal with it.

Looking after this cesspool of adolescents are adults who were smart enough to get a PhD but not smart enough to avoid guiding teenagers (i.e. teachers). Just like their wards, teachers are different from one another and have different teaching styles, skills, and motivations.

Which brings us to finances and facilities. Getting money from successful students allows you to upgrade your school with clinics, libraries, laboratories, and other locations that contribute to better students and faculty.

Depending on what you fill them with (teachers can have either brewed or instant coffee, for example), the overall rating of your school can either go up or down. Properly managing your money is the key to a successful business (it should also, ironically, be taught in more schools).

The game can be played normally (where you need to manage your resources wisely) or in an alternate sandbox mode that gives you an infinite bank balance. However you decide to play it, Academia: School Simulator definitely gives you a chance to do better than your high school principal.

If you think the title looks similar to Prison Architect, that's because the artists who worked on both games are one and the same. You can find the game on Steam as an Early Access release for Windows, with Mac and Linux versions coming somewhere down the line.

About the author: Carlos Zotomayor

Zoto can see your underpants. Mmm... tasteful.

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