The new 'Black Panther' poster seems to forget that a superhero needs a secret identity

Written by: Carlos Zotomayor

Film | Jun 10, 2017

Black Panther Chadwick Boseman Marvel T'Challa

Diversity!

After DC gave the world its first proper superheroine movie, Marvel suddenly feels a bit bothered...

"Holy crap, why didn't we put that Captain Marvel movie out sooner? Quick, we need to make ourselves relevant again! Put out all that Spider-Man: Homecoming footage we were saving for the cinemas! While you're at it, break out that Black Panther poster that's only three-fourths finished; we'll need it."

While you can already tell the whole plot of July's wall-crawling movie by setting the trailer scenes in chronological order, it seems that Black Panther is nowhere near completion.

Just take a look at its poster, which features a rather disproportionate head on a body that is sitting on what I am fairly sure is a recycled throne from the Thor films:


As you can see, even T'Challa is unimpressed with this poor Photoshop job.

After being orphaned in Captain America: Civil War, this new Black Panther returns to his technologically advanced home in Africa to take his rightful place as king. But it seems that not every one of his citizens likes living in the modern age, and would be happily content with wiping their butts with banana leaves.

An unnamed enemy has set their sights on taking down Black Panther's kingdom and turning it into a community of reused assets and poorly Photoshopped posters that showcase the identity of their long-nailed protector. They've even remodeled the king's palace and filled it with tacky metallic beams that are outlined with weird Tamagotchi icons! How evil can they be?!

Black Panther won't be out until February of next year, but let's hope that those dastardly villains in suits won't bring out any more unfinished marketing materials (like a Hulk without his extremely extendable shorts).

About the author: Carlos Zotomayor

Zoto can see your underpants. Mmm... tasteful.


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