The world just doesn't seem to want to shut up about Logan.
With Wolverine's latest outing being his best, everyone has suddenly come running back into Hugh Jackman's toned Australian arms despite ignoring the countless times he has played the role in otherwise crap movies. Featuring an R rating and a girl with a severe case of abandonment issues, the film has finally done right by a character who loves killing people just as much as he loves turning his muscles into weapons of mass destruction.But let's not forget who started this R rated Marvel fiasco!
Never one to shy away from blatant plugging, Deadpool has outdone Marvel Studios' penchant for making us hold our pee until the end credits scene by putting the teaser for his sequel right before Wolverine's very own movie. Making its appearance in local theaters during the second week of Logan's screening, Deadpool 2's teaser promises to make you laugh before the main attraction makes you cry.Uploaded by some guy called Ryan Reynolds, let's take a look at the many things this short film hints at for the sequel...
As we see a hooded man walk through a shady neighborhood, we discover that Deadpool 2 will be a crossover between the Marvel universe and Assassin's Creed. No doubt on his way to kill a Templar, the camera zooms in closer on this ominous figure for us to see his fa-
OH GOD, IT'S UGLY! It looks like a pineapple went through puberty twice!Oh no, wait, it's only Deadpool. Our once cancer-ridden friend may have an accelerated healing factor, but no amount of superpowers or facial cleanser can cure a face that looks like the heel of a football shoe.
Walking by an alley that seems unfit for anything other than a murder, Wade Wilson comes across the lowest kind of criminal: one who explicitly dresses like a felon, complete with a tacky beanie.
To top off the irony, Uncle Ben's killer here is attempting to mug an old man of his belongings. He must have seen through his target's normal-looking attire and deduced that this was actually Stan Lee making another overpaid cameo in a franchise he didn't help create.
Looking to make an impression on the Marvel veteran (and to ensure that there will be a Deadpool 3), Wade rushes into a phone booth and attempts to call the fashion police, saving Stan Lee and stopping this poorly-dressed criminal.
It is in this antique form of communication that we discover a majority of Easter eggs regarding the upcoming film...
First off, we learn that Deadpool wears white Hanes undershirts; hinting at a possible collaboration with basketball superstar Michael Jordan.
Known for his role in the classic film Space Jam, Jordan has always expressed interest in industries he was never really good at (like baseball). After seeing the success of superhero movies in the box office, the once proud member of the Chicago Bulls now sets his sights on the role of Deadpool's sidekick.
This speculation is further solidified when we find out that Deadpool doesn't wear underwear, citing his need for Michael Jordan to provide him with the tighty-whities all real superheroes wear when fighting evil.Ã
After getting his iconic suit on in a place that could be filled with no less than three kinds of STDs, Deadpool actually uses the payphone to call the fashion police.This means that either the sequel will take place during the 90s (when payphones still worked), or that both Deadpool and Michael Jordan will be traveling to the past to prevent personal disasters from happening to them (Deadpool to prevent his face from looking like a man's reproductive organs and Michael Jordan to stop his career from solely being a sponsor for underwear that protects male reproductive organs).
Upon hearing a
gunshot, our hero rushes to the rescue ready to ensure the safety of his
franchise! Nothing can stop him from saving Stan Lee...
... not even Stan Lee.
Realizing that this wasn't the man responsible for creating half the comic book heroes who have kicked his ass, Wade breathes a sigh of relief that the civilian was at least wearing appropriately-colored H&M clothes when he died and that the perpetrator didn't make off with the Ben & Jerry's ice cream that he could get royalties from for plugging into his movie.
Deadpool 2 seeks to outdo its predecessor and will feature more in-movie advertisements than humanly possible. With Hanes, Ben & Jerry's, and H&M already featured in the teaser, it's only a matter of time before the Merc with a Mouth trades in his red jumpsuit for Crocs and a Maui and Sons Hawaiian shirt.
Trailer TrashedÃ is where we dissect normal-looking trailers and paste them back together with satire and sarcasm.Ã