Trailer Trashed: Life of Black Tiger

Written by: Carlos Zotomayor

Games | Jan 26, 2017

1Games Life of Black Tiger Sony trailer trashed

There are a lot of video games that simulate the lives of things that are far more interesting than a normal human being. Toilets, goats, rocks - all these things don't have to wake up early on a weekday to work for a company that reduces them to brain-dead capitalist zombies.

But all those titles pale in comparison to what I think may just be the best simulator game out there: Life of Black Tiger. 

Released on the PlayStation 4 by 1Games, Life of Black Tiger removes any preconceived notions that people have about the life of a rare black tiger. While the normal orange-furred variants hunt independently and find jobs as villains in The Jungle Book, black tigers go on a perilous journey to give high fives to other animals.

Trudging through heavy snow, the rare black tiger (let's call him Leeroy) makes his way to the North Pole to meet Santa's elves. Determined to have his high fives sent to children all over the world, Leeroy decides to give the elves and their pet hybrid dog-kangaroo a sample of the joy his greetings can give.

Sadly, it seems high fives from black tigers are too powerful to be received by common elves and household abominations. The residents of the North Pole explode, falling on their knees to give respect to a hand gesture so great it can only be used for the best of celebrations.

The next scene sees Leeroy being greeted by a bunch of wolf cubs. Upon requesting to be taken to the cubs' parents, Leeroy unleashes the smackdown on the older pack, killing them faster than Game of Thrones killed off its canines and inciting rage upon the wolf cubs.

After turning the wolf cubs into orphans, Leeroy decides to take some time off to go out on a date with a normal tiger. Note the hearts around them and the complete lack of hand-to-face violence; this could only mean a night of romance for the two felines. 

But Leeroy can only go so long without greeting other animals in a very violent manner, and pretty soon he heads out to high five a fish - an animal with absolutely no hands with which to reciprocate the greeting. 

Upon realizing his mistake, Leeroy then goes to make peace with a crocodile. And while crocodiles have appendages with which to high five with, their body mass does not allow them to do much other than walk and make appearances in old Steve Irwin documentaries.

With a grand total of 4 species greeted (not counting that dog-kangaroo monstrosity), Leeroy thinks that there aren't any more animals to high five. He's ruled out birds (mostly because he doesn't have the legwork to go airborne), and anything bigger than him may just pimp slap him the black color out of his system.

Now content, he makes his way home... where his family is ambushed by the angry pack of orphaned wolf cubs he created. 

Royally pissed that they want to attack his son (who seems to be conjoined with a wolf cub in the image above), Leeroy goes berserk and abolishes his "not-until-they-are-of-legal-age" smacking rule. The wolf cubs fly everywhere, taking one way trips to other continents.

Life of Black Tiger seeks to continue where the trailer left off. With a soothing soundtrack and high-fidelity graphics that make use of the PlayStation 4's power, this game looks to be - HAHAHA I'm sorry, I can't go through with this...

Life of Black Tiger looks and plays like a horrendous game even by PlayStation 1 standards. Featuring a horrible English translation and gameplay that isn't even fit for mobiles, this joke of a game looks like a troll by Sony in order to get people to see what crazy title they will feature next on their official YouTube channel.

Trailer Trashed is where we dissect normal-looking trailers and paste them back together with satire and sarcasm.

About the author: Carlos Zotomayor

Zoto can see your underpants. Mmm... tasteful.

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