I'm not sure I even need to trash this thing; it does it all by itself.

Anyway, almost everyone knows about Death Note. For those unspeakables who haven't heard of it, Death Note is a manga series in which a thickly-bound notebook bestows upon you the power within it. By writing down your name to show ownership and waiting exactly 40 seconds in a secluded area, you will be granted answers that no living mortal has ever discovered.

past iterations of the franchise which take place in Japan, Netflix's Death Note crosses borders to Seattle and tells the tale of one Light Turner (I am honestly not joking). Unlike Light Yagami, the former main character who had a reckless need to murder anyone as soon as he saw their name of the side of a Starbucks Frappuccino, Light Turner simply struggles with being the new kid.

His school is filled with all sorts of juvenile delinquents:

Preppy cheerleaders who smoke mid-practice and the merchant from Resident Evil 4 are just some of the crazy characters who constantly mock Light's normalcy and whitewashing of an iconic Japanese cartoon character.

Things only get worse once he jokingly scribbles a phallus onto a notebook that falls from a passing airplane. In forgetting to check who it belongs to, Light realizes too late that this piece of stationery belongs to the new foreign exchange student who is infamous for picking on nerds who wear sweaters their grandmother made them last Christmas.

Word spreads around the campus fast. Knowing that this handsome yet deadly foreigner will come hunting for every mama's boy in sight, students wearing tacky clothing made by their loved ones promptly hurl themselves from the top of the school, saving them from a fate worse than death. 

But Light, being the teenager that he is, thinks himself invincible and ignores others' wishes for him to apologize to this bully of bullies. Being the center of attention has gone to his head, as he gains the favor of that one lady in Death Note who is crazier than people who pick up food six seconds after it hits the floor.

They kiss, cementing their relationship and defiance against a town that wants to be saved from this young punk's thoughtless actions.

Even with the police hunting them and construction workers ruining their dates at the carnival, these rebels refuse to heed to reason and take refuge in each other's arms. It is obvious that all the while, Light hones his craft and draws some more unsavory images in the bully's notebook, hoping to gain the favor of the DeviantArt community and establish himself as Picasso reborn. 

Online fame and posh dinners at art galleries will have to wait however, as Light has a date with karma. One day, without a word, the foreign exchange student comes a-calling to collect his notebook. Finding it filled with phallic doodles made by a thirteen-year-old, Ryuk takes one look at Light before muttering his punishment:

'Shall we begin?' he remarks greenly. 

Death Note will air on Netflix this coming August 25, 2017 and will center on Light as he struggles to balance his art as well as his relationship with both a girl and this student from a faraway land.

Trailer Trashed is where we dissect normal-looking trailers and paste them back together with satire and sarcasm.

About the author: Carlos Zotomayor

Zoto can see your underpants. Mmm... tasteful.

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