Well, what do you know? Naughty Dog has finally joined the long list of video game companies that have officially run out of ideas.
Instead of letting go of the past console generation and starting fresh with a new IP (though I'm still waiting for the inevitable Unkarted - the kart-based racing game featuring Uncharted characters), the California-based studio would much rather stay in their comfort zone and stick to titles that have poorly-dressed men and women fighting each other for either lost treasure or a can of peaches.
Case in point: The Last of Us Part II. Â
Where the first game focused on the relationship between a grizzled mass-murdering lumberjack and his surrogate potty-mouthed daughter, the sequel aims to tell a more grounded story about how difficult it is to become a successful musician.
Taking place in a small rural town, we see the makings of an upcoming indie act known as "STP" (as evidenced by the project's advertisement). Short for "Surrogate Transvestite Punk", one can only deduce that this is the moniker for the needlessly angry female lead of the previous game.
In an attempt to control her temper over the past years, Ellie has seen fit to learn the guitar. Eventually controlling her shaking fingers after years of practice, she finally decides to play a small concert for her neighbors in her house.
After seeing the emotion on her face and hearing the sincerity in her voice, you would think that people all over the world would be flocking out to arenas to hear this girl sing...
... But where is the audience?
Where are the STP fanatics? The fan-made signs? The vendors selling overpriced hotdogs and t-shirts? The absence of even one listener is enough to bring a blood-stained tear to teenage Ellie's eye.
This is where we
begin to notice the bodies.
At first, you may think that this psychopathic Miley Cyrus has gone off her rocker yet again, needlessly butchering her neighbors just because they think it's weird that she likes women.
But it goes deeper than that.
Upon seeing her surrogate father, Billy Ray Cyrus, everything becomes clear: people have lost their taste in good music. What need is there for an acoustic singer when everything can be easily auto-tuned and dubstepped? In a world where everything is digitized and pop stars are churned out like Pop-Tarts, there seems to be no place in the music industry for any kind of real talent.
It is in this
realization that Ellie (known professionally as STP) decides to kill her
tone-deaf neighbors; cutting them up like those paper people chains you used to
make when you were a kid.
As the mentoring father reunites with his cross-dressing daughter, we hear a small but insightful exchange which gives up the upcoming game's plot:
'What are you doing, kiddo? You really gonna go through with this?' says Billy Ray.
'I'm gonna find...
and I'm gonna kill... every last one of them." replies the short-of-breath
This confirms that The Last of Us Part II will follow STP as she goes on a journey to rid the world of people with no taste in music. Whether it be house, trap, drumstep, or any genre of music whose title refers to home depot items, STP and Billy Ray will stop at nothing to make sure that no other artist will be able to produce music as good as hers ever again. This is surely going to be one hell of a party in the U.S.A.
Trailer TrashedÂ is where we dissect normal-looking trailers and paste them back together with satire and sarcasm.Â