Unlike Disneyland, where the hosts try to kill you slowly by sapping your money and feeding you junk food, the residents of Westworld mercifully shoot you in the head with a good old-fashioned gun.
You won't even notice it. One minute you're being welcomed into the park, the next you're being introduced to the built-in god mode that protects visitors from the crazed inhabitants.
Sadly, things have taken a turn for the worse in the artificial Wild West. After Westworld's founder suddenly offed himself in the classiest way possible, his lifelike creations went AWOL - turning on their guests faster than you could say "Lando Calrissian".Without a daily routine and a newfound freedom to do as they please, what would these androids do with their lives?
Apparently, they would argue over tastes in music. Two factions have formed out of the remains of Westworld: one that wishes for classical music to endure, and the other with a taste for electronic dance music.
Here we have a failed pianist looking for his next meal. Cast out of his position and replaced by a more modern disc jockey, he stumbles upon the carcass of a tiger. With his food rations running low and the stench of failure on his clothes, we already know what he's having for dinner.
These are just some of the
atrocities committed by modern musicians on their traditional counterparts.
Seeking to turn this analog world into a digital one, these millennium-focused mixers
want to eradicate all musical instruments and replace them with high tech
Likewise, a harmonica player on the other side of town has been hung upside down and left for dead. Despite his predicament, this virtuoso desperately tries to reach his sole source of income and sell it at the nearest pawn shop (because everyone knows that you won't get far with a harmonica if you aren't Stevie Wonder).ÃÂ
But this can't be everyone
in the club, can it? Clubs like this are usually packed with the stench of
alcohol and have about as much moving room as a fat man's trousers...
That isn't to say the old country coots are pacifists; as evidenced by the aftermath of this techno club shootout. Going so far as to ruin the night of this lovely couple, the club is littered with the remains of finely-dressed strippers and bouncers alike.
Ah, here are the stragglers; running away from the assailants at the night club. Their Ferrari must have run out of gas, because now they're running full speed away from an almost naked lady and her timid boyfriend.
To their rescue comes a new breed of boy band, one that wishes to meld EDM with catchy harmonies and boyish charm to produce a genre unlike any other. You can see that they have the failed pianist in tow. He has been captured against his will to produce melodies that will resonate with older audiences so that parents will buy the band's albums for their children.
This cannot come to pass.
Behind the attacks on the EDM group is Clint Eastwood, who has come out of retirement solely to put a stop to this new techno menace. After a hasty breakfast of toast and strawberry jam, the leader of the classical androids is more than ready to lay down the classiest symphony of all: a ballad of death.
Westworld season two will delve deep into the ever-increasing gap in musical tastes between generations. Will there ever be a bridge between worlds apart from The Beatles and Adele? You'll have to wait until 2018 to find out.
Trailer TrashedÃÂ is where we dissect normal-looking trailers and paste them back together with satire and sarcasm.ÃÂ